Questions and AnswersTo people who can be themselves 100% without regard for what people think of them? What is your secret? nathonj981 year ago331 mins To people who can be themselves 100% without regard for what people think of them? What is your secret? Post navigation Previous: What is your NSFW confession?Next: What was your “it can’t be that easy / it was that easy” moment in your life? 33 thoughts on “To people who can be themselves 100% without regard for what people think of them? What is your secret?” Depression alcohol cheese puffs and no fucks Get up. Shower. Look in the mirror. “Fuck it, let’s go.” simple “What other people think of me, is none of my business” they don’t make a huge difference in your life. are they going to make you rich? are they going to be the ones deciding if you’re going to be the luckiest bitch alive? no? then why should you care about them It’s a mental exercise for sure, but I often land on: that’s not my job. People’s perception is out of my realm of control and no one knows what it’s like to live in my body. If someone has an opinion of you, but you don’t know about it, it has zero effect on you right? If its positive, it doesn’t make you feel good, if its negative, it doesn’t make you feel bad… It’s only when you become aware of that opinion, that suddenly you have an issue. So then, its actually YOUR feelings about how people feel about you that you struggle with, not actually how other people feel about you. Also, you’re only the star in your own story, no one else is thinking about and judging you, as much as YOU are thinking about and judging you. I would rather be myself and know that everyone who likes me, actually likes me, not some fake image that I have to keep up forever. Besides, I lack the ability to live a lie. It takes less work for me to just be disliked by people that I have nothing in common with than to change myself to be more like able. I don’t think it’s a secret, just a different personality type. I’m a huge extrovert. I didn’t become one, it’s just who I am. It’s actually easy once we accept how little other people think of us at all—they’re too focused on their own insecurities to obsess about ours. I’m happier than the people who’d judge me. As soon as you try living however you feel drawn to living, it’s so liberating that (at least for me) it becomes easy. Plus, when you really decide to be yourself, anyone who doesn’t like the real you was never going to be your friend. But the people who do like you will actually like *you* and not an act you put on. Age, it’s taken 4 decades but it’s good to finally be here. I have a crippling fear of regrets For me, it has been quitting social media (other than here of course). But I don’t have insta, fb, never had tiktok, and even deleted youtube – all for about 5 months now. (permanently deleted accounts.. not just deleting the app – too tempting!) I would get so concerned with how people saw me online that it trickled down to reality. How I dressed, what I did, etc. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Maybe I never knew. I’m 25F and was on socials since I was a kid. Just know – being confident 100% of the time isn’t realistic. I still have some insecurities and stuff I deal with. I’m human. But hey, this is just my two cents. Do with it what you will. My secret is to focus on myself and my goals, rather than worrying about others’ opinions. If you are not sincere, other people who are not sincere will gravitate toward you. There will always be people that will reward you for your lack of substance. Who do you want to surround yourself with? Many insincere people, or a few sincere people? It takes effort to get deep into your personal truth. I think most folks prefer plodding along without putting that much effort in. Because I love myself, I will not cheapen who I am. I will explore myself. I won’t hide myself. I will evolve. I will cringe at the former me. I will look forward to the future me. I will not do so with a mask on. I used to be really overweight. I was so insecure about everything and anyone. It got to a point where I said to myself, “You don’t know what they’re thinking. You don’t know what’s going on in their head.” Because yes, the first thing people saw about me was that I was overweight but from my own experience, if I saw someone that had something noticable about them, for example, a mole on their face, I’d go from noticing it, to not caring about that mole. I cannot be the only person in the world who does that. With time and that mindset, I got over a lot of my insecurities and worrying about what others thought about me. I realized more people actually liked real me better than fake me; and that they preferred me communicating in a way that was direct and honest (but, of course, still tactful and empathic) rather than trying mind games to attempt to figure out what they wanted to hear. I also had to realize that I was never going to be liked by everyone and not only is that OK, it’s often preferable. No foxes given. Your opinion of me is none of my business Younger people worry about what others think of them. As you get older, you care less and less what others think of you. Eventually, you realize they aren’t thinking about you at all, and never were. Also, don’t ask strangers on the internet what they think of you. Generally comes with age. After some years, experience tells you it doesn’t matter all that much. In the same way that when you’re young, your work is everything, and when you get older, you realise it’s only a part of life. Being a antisocial hermit lends itself well to not giving a fuck existentialism A field barren of any fucks to give Live a few decades bro and you run out of fucks to give. Brain injury made me oblivious of how others feel. So just hit your head so hard you almost die, problem solved. I realized that I didn’t want to change the things I like about myself, regardless of what other people thought, so if I’m going to be me anyway, worrying about it is useless. The things I don’t like, I can change or accept it since no one is perfect. I had to do some work on myself and reach out to others to find my people and the search was painful at times and I didn’t always make the right choices, but those experiences have grown my confidence. Yes, I’m fat, but instead of covering up until I’m at a healthy weight, I’m going to wear a swimsuit and have fun at the beach with my family in the meantime. Yes, I’m short, but I’ve got footstools and grabbers. Yes, I’m weak, but I’m learning how to gain strength. Yes, I’m eclectic but I have friends who also like to knit in public (for example). The one thing I’m not, is stuck in misery and missing out. I have no respect for the people who would judge me, so their opinion means nothing to me. This isn’t a license to smell bad or be an asshole, but the point is that people’s opinions only have as much power over you as you allow. Have some respect for yourself, so you can recognize disrespect when it comes your way. Just care less. Give fewer fucks. Recognize the transient nature of existence and realize how odd it is to be anything at all let alone a thinking thing. Think about the impenetrable nothingness of death and expand that beyond yourself in time and see the heat death of the universe. True nothing. Just space and time and inert particles seldomly interacting to no effect. Now ask yourself what matters. Does the opinion of strangers make the list? I think most people are morons and I don’t value their opinions. I don’t like most people, so i don’t care what they think. This is gonna get dark but hear me out. How many women are sexually assaulted every day, and no one does anything about it. Do you think you should care what someone who doesn’t care about multiple of my female relatives being assaulted thinks? If they don’t care about women being hurt, what will make them care? How many people who actively discriminate against trans people, should i care about the thoughts of someone who thinks my partner and my cousin are invalid? What about the people who just give all the violent Christian extremists a pass, or who give the preaching of a violent end for pagans like me, should I care what people who literally want me dead for nothing more than seeking god think? Like, should i live my entire life catering to these psychos, or should I live my life? I was like this when I was younger I love myself and I respect myself. The only people whose opinion I care about are my close friends and ny family Everyone else can eat a dick if they don’t like me. I won’t lose sleep over it. People are going to judge you, make fun of you, dislike you. It doesn’t matter. It’s going to happen anyway. But you should at least be the person YOU are happy with. For instance, I pretty much only vacation alone. I’m in Hawaii right now alone sitting on a patio drinking coffee and watching the rain fall. Is it weird I’m here alone? Maybe. Pretty much everyone gives me an “Oh” and a look of pity when I say I’m here alone. But why should I give a fuck? Should I not go on vacation because it’s embarrassing to go alone? Fuck that. I’m having a great time listening to no one and eating/drinking/doing whatever the fuck I want when I want. No Fucks to give. My Life, not yours. I’m not LARPing in your world. Your problem if you can’t handle it, Not mine. Somebody mentioned Cheese puffs. For me it’s Cheetos. Value you’re own opinions more than everyone elses. Comments are closed.