There is a TLDR. I know I usually go into too much detail when sharing, but I felt the details were important this time. My boyfriend (29M) and I (27F) have been together for 2.5 years. We have a very good relationship and communicate very well. I had bariatric surgery in January 2022. My gall bladder stopped working and this caused many health problems and for about a year I was very ill and recovered. My boyfriend has been completely understanding the whole time and has never pressured me to have sex and was fine with months and months of no sex (or just masturbating if he wanted to) whereas I got back my health and strength. However because of all these issues… I do have issues that affect my sex life… He is very patient with me and makes me mentally want to have sex with him. I believe my problem lies with my personal pleasure during sex. My nipples used to be the most sensitive and “warm me up quick” was all my boyfriend could do. This was my favorite thing. It’s not like that anymore and I have very little sensitivity now. (If he were to be harsh on them, he starts getting hurt which he never had before). I’m guessing that the severe weight loss over the past year has led to disappointment in some areas. (I’ve lost just under 200lbs in the last 13 months. Yes, a lot.) I haven’t felt much in my lower belly during this time either, but it’s back. As we started having more sex, I realized that there was not much sensitivity around my clitoris either. This was another thing that I thoroughly enjoyed. In both the areas sensitivity is yet to return. We’re perfectly satisfied with “casual” or “traditional” style sex. We’ve never found anything else. I have toys, but even with my vibrator it is not as easy to use anymore due to the lack of sensitivity. So, I don’t know what else to try. It’s been hard for me because I don’t feel like I’m getting the chance to enjoy sex anymore. At least not like before, not my favorite things. I feel completely cut off from sex and I feel jealous of my boyfriend because he can still enjoy the things he likes (without blowjobs, and I don’t mind giving it to him). It sucked because I could no longer find the things I used to enjoy. We’re not really that adventurous, neither do I know how to be, but what are some things I can try to help me enjoy sex as much as he used to, or as I used to do? Either bringing back the sensibility or options of what I used to enjoy. I am ready to try, learn and explore new things. P.S. I’ve talked briefly with my therapist and my boyfriend and I’m currently taking the sex topic, jokes, sarcasm, and sexual touching off the table until I can mentally figure it out. It’s really helping so far! *** TLDR; I am no longer sensitive to my nipples and clitoris. These were my favorite things about sex and now I don’t feel like I can enjoy sex the way I used to. I need to bring it back or ideas for alternatives!
I have little to no sensitivity in areas where I used to find pleasure during sex. I need opinion!
One thought on “I have little to no sensitivity in areas where I used to find pleasure during sex. I need opinion!”
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Never had to deal with this, but i think unless your doctor has or can tell you a medical reason for the loss of sensitive based on facts related to your surgery or weight loss. Then your issue is probably mental or temporary.
I will suggest that the best thing to do is just not focus on that too much and ask your boyfriend to do more foreplay. Have him give you head more, google some new ways of touching your breasts, try new positions with different angles etc. if you were more into the missionary style sex, try being on top as you have more control on how you rub against his penis. Maybe even buy some toys to try.
I think you need time to get back to your usual sensitivity level. You went through a big emotional and physical trauma. It can take time!
Your BF is clearly loving and caring, just try to enjoy sex as much as you can so you can both have a good time. You mentioned it has been a long time when he was left dry. I think you should not leave him dry for longer just because it feels a bit less now than before. That can have worse consequences in the long run.