I have little to no sensitivity in areas where I used to find pleasure during sex. I need opinion!

There is a TLDR. I know I usually go into too much detail when sharing, but I felt the details were important this time. My boyfriend (29M) and I (27F) have been together for 2.5 years. We have a very good relationship and communicate very well. I had bariatric surgery in January 2022. My gall bladder stopped working and this caused many health problems and for about a year I was very ill and recovered. My boyfriend has been completely understanding the whole time and has never pressured me to have sex and was fine with months and months of no sex (or just masturbating if he wanted to) whereas I got back my health and strength. However because of all these issues… I do have issues that affect my sex life… He is very patient with me and makes me mentally want to have sex with him. I believe my problem lies with my personal pleasure during sex. My nipples used to be the most sensitive and “warm me up quick” was all my boyfriend could do. This was my favorite thing. It’s not like that anymore and I have very little sensitivity now. (If he were to be harsh on them, he starts getting hurt which he never had before). I’m guessing that the severe weight loss over the past year has led to disappointment in some areas. (I’ve lost just under 200lbs in the last 13 months. Yes, a lot.) I haven’t felt much in my lower belly during this time either, but it’s back. As we started having more sex, I realized that there was not much sensitivity around my clitoris either. This was another thing that I thoroughly enjoyed. In both the areas sensitivity is yet to return. We’re perfectly satisfied with “casual” or “traditional” style sex. We’ve never found anything else. I have toys, but even with my vibrator it is not as easy to use anymore due to the lack of sensitivity. So, I don’t know what else to try. It’s been hard for me because I don’t feel like I’m getting the chance to enjoy sex anymore. At least not like before, not my favorite things. I feel completely cut off from sex and I feel jealous of my boyfriend because he can still enjoy the things he likes (without blowjobs, and I don’t mind giving it to him). It sucked because I could no longer find the things I used to enjoy. We’re not really that adventurous, neither do I know how to be, but what are some things I can try to help me enjoy sex as much as he used to, or as I used to do? Either bringing back the sensibility or options of what I used to enjoy. I am ready to try, learn and explore new things. P.S. I’ve talked briefly with my therapist and my boyfriend and I’m currently taking the sex topic, jokes, sarcasm, and sexual touching off the table until I can mentally figure it out. It’s really helping so far! *** TLDR; I am no longer sensitive to my nipples and clitoris. These were my favorite things about sex and now I don’t feel like I can enjoy sex the way I used to. I need to bring it back or ideas for alternatives!

One Response

  1. Monkey_Junkie_No1 2 months ago