It was an amazing birthday surprise. I made dinner for him, and my bestie was with us. During dessert we surprised them with a “present”. Everything went well, and we all had a wonderful time. My bestie and I have hooked up several times before, so things got surprisingly comfortable. However, there was an awkward moment for me. We all fell on the bed at one point. I was woken up by my bf and bestie fucking next to me. I pretended to be asleep – but I heard and saw. I wasn’t upset at the time, in fact, I was a little turned on. Now that some time has passed, I feel really weird about it. I asked my bf what happened, and he said the bestie started playing with him and he just walked away with her. To be fair, we haven’t set any ground rules. So I know I shouldn’t be mad. that sounds weird. Any thoughts, advice, suggestions?
For my bf’s (28M) birthday, I got him a threesome with me (26F) and my bestie (27F)
2 months ago
25 Comments
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About The Author
Surprise threesomes are like Russian Roulette but where only one chamber doesn’t have a round in it. Congrats on the empty chamber.
I had a very similar situation except I blacked out and didn’t find out they kept going until weeks later when she told me. I felt so betrayed, I had to end it with the guy.
Every situation is different though. You just really have to think if it’s something that will bother you long term. If you don’t think you can drop it, it might be best to move on.
Ahhhh see this is semi tricky. It’s like if no rules were set then it’s like “ I can’t be mad “ BUT I also feel like they shouldn’t have had sex with out you. You invited her to play with you both. Not him. I’d mention something to her
Do you feel weird that he had one on one sex with your bestie? Or that you got turned on watching him have sex.
This is something that I’ve heard happen a lot with threesomes when everyone falls asleep. One person wakes up horny and wants to go again. It’s something that has happened in threesomes I 29M have had and it just kinda happens naturally without much thought
Time to talk!
If anything being open about your feelings (without being judgemental) can give him/her the oppertunity to make you feel heard.
Also, with these kinda things I always recommend setting at least some ground rules… Friends of mine found this out the hard way in a surprisingly similar situation. Talking helped for them though.
I can guess one or both of them being like; I might not get this oppertunity again, so might as well milk it for what it’s worth (no pun intended) but it could be anything. Sitting in the dark guessing about it probably isn’t going to do anybody any good.
Also, wish I had a bestie like that, lol.
I think the problem here is by making it a surprise you never go to discuss rules or expectations beforehand, it’s a bit late now but maybe in the future it should be something you consider?
Best part about threesomes is that they don’t have to happen twice. Have a talk, learn from it. Consider it a fun crazy thing you two did.
If you plan to revisit it, have more indepth conversations about rules.
I think it’s fine to be mad while also recognizing that part of that experience turned you on and you were seemingly ok with it initially. It’s a good chance to think about your own boundaries and desires and then build some ground rules from there.
In the poly community this would be cheating, there were no discussions about it… you don’t do it.
Now that you’ve learned some things in the comments it’s time to take those lessons back to your relationship. Tell him, in a safe non-sexual context how that made you feel. 100% open communication is the only way ENM works.
You guys agreed to a threesome. How is that a threesome if you are passed out sleeping while they are fucking? I would be pissed if I was you.
I hate this. I hate this so much…this hurt me
Lmao here we go again. This happens at least once a day. You’ll be back next week telling us how you broke up because one of you couldn’t handle it
this is why u set boundaries
Yikes.
he wanted to surprise you as well
You agreed to a threesome, and they turned it into a twosome. That’s not what was discussed or agreed to. Personally, I would be upset, not necessarily at the act itself but at the lack of communication. Whatever happens should be done with full knowledge and consent of all 3 of you, and it sounds like that was not the case here. At the very least, I would take it as a sign that you need to be very clear about what you are and are not okay with, otherwise you risk getting blindsided again and again.
wow i could never
Yeah there Gona fuck all the time now you open can of worms.
Threesomes with a partner always end up with jealousy or awkwardness.
My wife and I discussed this for literal months before hand , you should of definitely had more ground rules.
But fucking my wife’s friend right beside my wife without her involved or consenting is a massive dick move and not ok.
Sketchy
That’s fucked up!
The deal was a threesome, not him fucking her whilst you’re asleep. You maybe hadn’t had rules for the threesome, but that was already over when they decided it would be ok to fuck without you whilst you’ve been asleep next to them. I’d freak out if I’d be you.
Honestly I’d be pissed. It probably should have been talked about beforehand, but also, a threesome isn’t a green light for them to have sex any time
They’re going to think they can fuck behind your back now.