Anal gone wrong, help!

So my boyfriend (45M) and I (27F) have anal sex about once or twice a month. He really likes it and while it is not something that gives me mind blowing orgasms it really turns me on to see that he is enjoying it so I love it. We have a very sexual relationship, we enjoy trying new things and having fun. We’ve been into sending really sexy pics and sexting while we’re not together I feel like he puts me on a pedestal and thinks I can do no wrong. Thing is, yesterday we were having anal sex and after I did the enema and everything, poop got in his penis. I mortified, he played it cool, just jumped in the shower and asked me to join him. He changed the sheets and then we had sex but I couldn’t stop crying so he just stayed and started comforting me. He told me that he is inserting his penis into my ass, where the faeces come from, and that it means that I am healthy and my body is working as it should. He kept reassuring me that it was okay and that he didn’t really care, like it was no big deal. Spent 3 hours trying to get my mind off him, but I still can’t stop thinking about it. Her son (16M) called again and had to go pick her up, but still tried to make small talk with me in the car while driving me home. He has been messaging me constantly since then, telling me how he misses me and sending me pictures of him with his son, the food he was making, etc. He’s been great about it, but I can’t stop crying and I feel humiliated, to the point of thinking about ending it. I worry that he won’t think I’m as sexy as before or that he won’t date anymore or that he won’t want to try anal again. He hasn’t mentioned sex in any conversation we’ve had since then, even though we’ve done that many times before. Men who’ve had this happen before, did it affect the way you viewed your SO? Thanks

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