So my boyfriend (45M) and I (27F) have anal sex about once or twice a month. He really likes it and while it is not something that gives me mind blowing orgasms it really turns me on to see that he is enjoying it so I love it. We have a very sexual relationship, we enjoy trying new things and having fun. We’ve been into sending really sexy pics and sexting while we’re not together I feel like he puts me on a pedestal and thinks I can do no wrong. Thing is, yesterday we were having anal sex and after I did the enema and everything, poop got in his penis. I mortified, he played it cool, just jumped in the shower and asked me to join him. He changed the sheets and then we had sex but I couldn’t stop crying so he just stayed and started comforting me. He told me that he is inserting his penis into my ass, where the faeces come from, and that it means that I am healthy and my body is working as it should. He kept reassuring me that it was okay and that he didn’t really care, like it was no big deal. Spent 3 hours trying to get my mind off him, but I still can’t stop thinking about it. Her son (16M) called again and had to go pick her up, but still tried to make small talk with me in the car while driving me home. He has been messaging me constantly since then, telling me how he misses me and sending me pictures of him with his son, the food he was making, etc. He’s been great about it, but I can’t stop crying and I feel humiliated, to the point of thinking about ending it. I worry that he won’t think I’m as sexy as before or that he won’t date anymore or that he won’t want to try anal again. He hasn’t mentioned sex in any conversation we’ve had since then, even though we’ve done that many times before. Men who’ve had this happen before, did it affect the way you viewed your SO? Thanks
Anal gone wrong, help!
2 months ago
26 Comments
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I wouldn’t panic or stress about it so much. The reality is that’s a possibility and it will happen every now and then. The guy didn’t freak out and I wouldn’t let it get to you.
Sounds like a great guy
It’s exactly as he said. You mess around with the ass, you’re eventually going to get dirty. No matter how clean you are or how hard you try, it will eventually happen.
As for his not bringing up sex, from the way you describe him I guarantee it’s because he probably feels like talking about sex while you still feel bad might be a trigger for you. Instead of feeling like forcing the subject, he wants to make sure you’re 100 % alright.
He sounds like an incredibly amazing guy. I have read stories of reactions that were just…horrifying. To the point where I can’t believe some of those women were still with the guy.
Listen, you really have nothing to worry about, at all. He was really understanding about it, and he is right, it’s something that happens to everyone once in a while, nothing to be ashamed about!
Don’t end the relationship over this, he sounds like a great man! And what are you gonna do? End the relationship everytime an incident like this happens and look for someone else?
He isn’t talking about sex not because you don’t turn him on anymore, but because you are distressed about it and he wants to take your mind off it.
> Men who had this happen before, did it affect the way you saw your SO after?
Absolutely not. We’re human; poop happens.
Sounds like you’ve got an amazing guy. Listen to him and believe him when he says this was no big deal.
*Shit happens.
I’m curious if you have children because as parents we see so much crap we get used to it and it isn’t a big deal.
It happens. Wipe it off, clean it and move on. No biggie at all
Shit happens. 😀
You can’t knock on poops door and expect it not to be home ~Another Redditor
He sounds amazing! Why would you break up with him over your own insecurities? He handles it perfectly, not all men can do that. Also, you can’t do vaginal sex without a lot of wetness and other things coming out of it. It’s just how it works 🤷 Laugh it off.
That would be the stupidest reason to end a relationship with what seems a great guy. He is very comfortable with you. You just stay the same and relax.
I am with GF for 13 years and she still shows insecurities when the same situation happens 🙂
If that makes you feel better…
For sure i dont find her less atractive!!!
Wouls you really end relationship beacuse of that😂? Damn…women are really hard to understand.
Ok but you gotta get over it
i think you put yourself on a pedestal
This is a much larger issue for you than for him. He’s trying to express to you it’s not a big deal.
It’s totally normal and he’s completely fine with it. Stop dwelling and move on.
He’s got a 16 year old kid? He’s past any disgust with poop.
We’re animals, evolved over hundreds of millions of years to be able to explore our world. The universe has discovered that the best way to do that is to build creatures that reproduce, and who eat regularly and then expel all the stuff that’s poisonous or useless. Learn to embrace your nature
You have a problem you can’t get around. If you have anal this is going to happen. Porn does not show it because it is not exactly sexy but it happens. The partner you have is cool and totally chill so you are fine. Accept this is an accident and that sex is messy no matter who you are having it with.
A woman fretting about poop coming out of a butt sounds about as mature as those ~~young men~~ kids who freak out over the fact that women have periods, wear feminine products that actually get bloody, stain their panties and sheets every so often and, God forbid, get a little blood on their dicks. If you can’t accept the totality of the natural outcome that comes with smashing genitals and butts, then maybe you’re not ready to be having sex.
You’re in your head a little too much. You apparently have a good guy for a BF and to dump him because *you* see yourself differently isn’t fair. He clearly doesn’t see you any differently.
Since you asked, out of the countless times I’ve had anal sex with many women over several decades, it has been rare to have accidents. And when they did occur, I handled it exactly like your stand-up BF did. Further, I didn’t think anything of it nor did I view the woman any differently, she still lit my fire, wether she was a ONS, FWB or GF.
Don’t take my word for it, but you still turn him on. I’d bet money on it.
This is soooo normal and part of the game if you like anal. Don’t beat yourself up
I’ve had it happen a number of times, including a huge accident once, where sheets had to be torn off the bed and thrown into the shower to clean. (Lesson learned – don’t have anal sex when the woman is heavily inebriated, no matter how much she begs you to “pound my ass”! )
I still wanted to have sex – including anal sex – with every single woman with whom this happened.
It is NO BIG DEAL. If you have anal sex, SHIT HAPPENS.
It didn’t “go wrong” that happens often. I mean, that’s where you defecate from, so naturally some will be lurking in it’s rightful place.
That said, I’ll tell you my “crawl in a hole and die story”. We NEVER have morning sex. One morning I initiated. I was about to cum, when I let out a fart. I didn’t know if it would be bad. Apparently… It was. It stank so bad, my bf lost his boner. I wanted to die. Right there. I was so embarrassed. He didn’t say anything, then when it went completely flaccid, he feigned a leg cramp, lol. I was embarrassed for at least a week, if not more, over it. But he’d seemingly forgotten all about it. I’m totally over it now, it happened probably a month ago.
So just chill, calm your mind, and before you know it, you won’t even care.
You need to listen to what your boyfriend is telling you and stop asking the advice of men you aren’t in a relationship with.
Oh babe!! I know nothing is gonna stop you from feelings these things but look here at everyone trying to reassure you INCLUDING your bf who sounds like he handled it wonderfully!
You are not the first person this has happened to. It is 100% normal. Like many say, you go in through the back door, you’re gonna have to deal with some shit now and again.
We are all human and this is literally where poop comes from so he wouldn’t have been shocked AT all and knows what he’s in for if he’s into anal.
Try, if you can, to make a joke out of it. Turn the whole thing around to a funny anecdote. It will feel much lighter and easier on yourself to try and find the humour in it.
Being sexy is fun, but sometimes you gotta laugh 🙂
He’s probably not going to bring sex up right away because of how affected you were by that very normal and common incident so don’t overthink that, he’s clearly still very interested in you.
Your anal didn’t go wrong ✨ you are healthy and nothing bad happened to you. I was expecting to read something about a prolapse and ending up in emergency’s room! You’re all good hun ✨
Respectfully, this isn’t anal gone wrong. This went right in every way imaginable. He’s very respectful and understands the realism of what anal looks like and what it comes with. He hasn’t had sex with you because he recognizes that you clearly need time to get past this.
He didn’t put you on a pedestal, you did that to yourself. He sees you as the human that you are, and he cares about you and considers you beautiful, which is a very *good* thing. You’re setting unrealistic expectations of yourself and beating yourself up over something very normal. I think you should see a therapist, or at least ask yourself why you expect yourself to be inhumanly perfect.
The standard you hold yourself to is harmful and can break down relationships. But more importantly, it can break down your mental health and warp your perspective. Please be kinder to yourself, there are few things as normal and healthy as what you’re describing here.
This is a you issue, he is being an adult and it’s nbd and handling it perfectly.
Don’t end it, just realize…wait for it…shit happens! 🤣🤣
My girl and I are into anal play and recently had a somewhat similar issue and she was embarrassed too so I get why you are, but honestly it was nbd to me and I assure you it isn’t to him either.
Sounds like an okay guy in spite if the 18+ year age gap.