Anyone have any advice on how to stay engaged during sex when you have ADHD and get bored and easily distracted? Besides if you are very detached you don’t feel everything as sensitively as everyone else?
ADHD and Sex – How to Stay Engaged!?
2 months ago 7 Comments
My wife and I start out with a naked, non-erotic silent 5 minute hug. Plenty of skin to skin contact. It calms our brains and lowers our heart rates. After about 5 minutes my brain is so calm and quiet that my dick gets hard spontaneously. I then have her hold it while continuing the hug. After a couple of minutes of that it’s like steel and we go for it. Give it a try.
No phones in the vicinity and a silent bed seem to help for me. It also helps if the sex is very active so I can keep my focus…. On the other hand, if the doorbell rings or a car horn goes off it can be tricky.
I think it helps to have a lot of novelty and surprises for someone with adhd. For example, new lingerie, different oral techniques, new positions, and new toys. I also like to ramp up the eroticism over time. For someone with the right kinks this can start out as a little spanking to much more intense impact play over time.
My boyfriend has pretty severe ADHD. He’s said that being vocal himself and me also being vocal helps him stay in the moment and focus. So we do a lot of dirty talk, we’ll throw in some phrases that have questions or require a response to help center the situation back on us if that makes sense
Odd because i imagined that would be more distracting but by him kind of describing what we’re doing or telling me how good he feels etc. it helped him to stay focused on what he’s doing. Hope this helps!
Funny, maybe my ADHD isn’t that bad (I had a good life for almost 50 years before mere suspicions led to an actual diagnosis.), and maybe there’s just never been a long enough period in my life were I got so much sex that I could be distracted during it?
But I suspect sex is one of my areas of “hyperfocus”!!! I’m probably forgetting some moments across a lifetime, and some sex is more engrossing that other sex for sure, and certain times I may not have been concentrating on what my partner would prefer I did? But being distracted or unengaged during sex has never been an issue for me!
BDSM/rough sex is your friend! I have very little attention and can drift make inappropriate comments if not careful, my girlfriend (both women) solves this by digging nails in to scratch me hard, pinches bites my nipples, slaps my tits hard, she demands my attention and ADHD ain’t got nothing of someone making you theirs.
So I’ve always been pretty vocal during sex, the sounds I make are directly correlated to the pleasure I’m feeling, but I’ve recently started to wonder if it is a form of stimming for me, given that sex is a verrrry stimulating activity (so much so that I need to do this vocal stimming to keep myself somewhat grounded)
I absolutely lose my focus if a partner asks me something along the lines of “what do you want me to do to you”. But dirty talk that is more focused on what is happening, like “god you feel good” “I’m gonna make you cum for me” “you drive me crazy when you ——-“ tend to simultaneously turn me on and make me go into mega hyperfocus.
Are you open to experimenting? And is it the same when/if you masturbate?